Sunday, May 13, 2012

my dandy lawn

Whenever anyone asks how my garden grows, that’s what I say.

Yes, I have a dandy lawn, so just turn the other way and try not to step on it as you’re leaving.

I should really snap a picture of it and post it here, but hey, yellow is yellow and I know your imagination is up to the task.

My wife stresses out about it far more than I do. She feels twinges of guilt and shame - I feel, um, nothing much except despair that the human race is one effed up piece of work.

And anybody who wants to come down on me or mine for having a bunch of natural, tenacious and well suited-plants growing around my house can, well, bite me.

Don’t like it - don’t look.

Let me just say that one of the people in our neighbourhood was actually down on her knees with a pair of scissors trimming the edge of her lawn along the sidewalk . . . um, yeah, I kid you not.

Today, for the second time this year, I will pull out the lawn chopper and give it a whirl. I’m going to cut my lawn down pretty low this time. And hey, if looks are all you are after then after I mow it looks pretty darn good - for about a day or so.

Then, we are back to a dandy lawn all over again with me not caring and my wife worrying about what the neighbours think.

I try to reassure her that the neighbours are old and still stuck in 1950 when perfectly manicured lawns were all the rage after the completely chaotic war years.

Um, those days are like decades gone people.

I like to think of my lawn as about as far down the scale of things to get worked up about as oh, say, arguing over what shape a cloud really looks like.

I will participate in flower planting today though with my wife and add other colours, besides yellow, to our front lawn gardens.

People starving, killing each other, abducting and enslaving children, producing chemical weapons and high-yield nuclear weapons, physical abuse of animals . . . you get the drift . . .

All this to really be concerned about yet some people feel the burning need to scowl at weeds on a lawn . . . makes me just want to board the first alien spacecraft to land, and get the eff out of here . . .

Oh, and a Happy Mother’s Day too.

Oh and for a hoot check this out - it's pretty funny Tom Wilson

Until next Sunday . . .

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