Sunday, September 05, 2010

got conned

Well, as you know from my previous post I was off to FanExpo last weekend and pumped . . .

What a frack’n debacle and let down!

I really was looking forward to the visit a lot. I’ve had great times at all the conventions I’ve attended in the past. This one, or so I thought, would be more of the same.

Boy, was I dead wrong.

First off was the wait. And when I say wait, I mean WAIT - to the tune of just over one a half million yea. . . er . . . hours. Hard for me to even make a joke about it, because it was just so very wrong.

So, after suffering the cattle chute from hell we finally got to the box office to pay exorbitant prices for ourselves and our daughters . . . I know, why did we bring the kids? Um, because it was supposed to be fun and they may get a chance to see Captain Kirk in the flesh . . .

Boy, were we dead wrong.

Shatner was nowhere to be seen and the place was packed worse than processed meat in a peel top tin.

In fact you had to line up (no, not again!) just to buy a ticket so you could line up to see Shatner later in the day . . . WTF!

So, okay then, skip that noise we will check out some of the other stars there.

Off we went, at a quarter mile per hour because of the unbelievable amount of people sandwiched into the place, and finally got over to the signing area.

I was getting more hopeful as I saw Summer Glau, Felicia Day, James Marsters and even Ernest Borgnine . . . and that was about the extent of it. I saw them, from sixty feet away, and I wasn’t even wearing my glasses. They could have been cardboard cutouts, or Jim Henson puppets.

We chose a line that was not busy . . . okay, nobody was in it. It was for that guy that wore the suit for Chewbaca in Star Wars. What an ass! Sorry, but no other descriptor seems to fit. We smiled at him, said it was nice to meet him and our girls had just started watching the Star Wars movies and liked Chewbaca a lot. What we got was no return smile, a positively sour look and an aren’t-you-interested-in-buying-my-picture scowl. For twenty five bucks - you have got to be kidding me x-furball!

I was thinking, you know what Mister wore-a-suit-and-didn’t-even-say-one-line - screw you! And all the stars autographs ranged from 25 bucks up to 50 bucks. Give me a break!

Next Michael Dorn sitting there looking cool and smiling. A friendly guy. I told my daughter to go over and just say hi and that you liked him as Worf in Next Generation. She wouldn’t go . . . okay then, why again did I bring you?

We’re hungry was what I started hearing a lot of . . . kids, sometimes you wonder why you ever had them.

Let’s just wait in line for a few minutes and talk to James Marsters, Spike from Buffy. Wouldn’t you know it, just when we get near the front of the line, he up and leaves. WTF!

So, off to the food area with no seating and prices to rival the star’s autographs. Holy crap - five bucks for a watery hot dog in a rubbery bun! But, when you are with a kid crying out for food you have two choices. Shell out the dough so they clam up and stop irritating you for food, or have them work on you in child grumpiness tones for the rest of the day.

Out went the cash.

At this point, while the kids were chewing down food I went over to see Felicia Day, the only person I was remotely willing to pay for an autograph because as a fellow writer I was hoping she would sign her picture - keep writing - and I would be happy with that.

Guess what? - she had just left a few minutes before and was not returning because of work she had scheduled in Vancouver. Now this is no fault of Felicia’s, but didn’t I just endure over an hour and a half line-up?

That was about the extent of things and we left the star signing area. There was supposed to be the Batmobile and the DeLorien from Back to the Future there. So downstairs we went to at least salvage something of the day.

We asked a security guy where the cars were - he told us that they were through the glass doors yesterday, but looks like they are gone today.

We left - in disgust.

I renamed the event FanExploit since we, the fans, paid a ton of cash and go pretty much nothing out of the event . . .

The kids will likely never want to go to a convention again as long as they live - and I can’t blame them, I may not either.

Well, enough rehashing old miseries.

Until next Sunday . . .


  1. Zilla's Other Half10:36 am

    Grumpy Chewbaca notwithstanding, I suspect that the poorly organized nature of the expo likely trickled over to their side of the event as well. I know it gives them all extra $$ and exposure, but now, unfortunately, some of them may think again before coming back to Toronto for a fiasco like that...

  2. Asking for money for an autograph is pretty frickin' lame if you ask me. I follow the exploits of a number of my favourite writers and actors, and they will stay on for an extra hour or more sometimes at events so they can meet everyone who lined up to get their John Henries, and none of them *ever* ask for cash. What the heck were the organizers thinking?