Friday, December 19, 2008

less than a week

Day 113 of 365 in the “Marathon of the Dope” . . .

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Holy, ho ho kiddies - X-Mas is less than one week away.

And I still haven’t finished my Christmas shopping . . .

. . . is that bad? Think Santa has time to even look for my name on his list at this point?

And isn’t it funny that Santa says the same thing when he visits the farm or the brothel . . .

Unless he is in Australia, where he is banned from saying it - you know, because it is an equal opportunity country, and it is not nice to make fun of any working class - no discrimination allowed I guess.

But back to the presents.

Actually, the “immediate family” shopping is out of the way - it’s my pesky folks that are going to suffer.

And by suffering, I mean they are leaving soon to spend over a month in Vegas.

So, you see, I get to buy them Post-X-Mas stuff at drastically reduced (recession induced?) pricing.

Okay, so I’m a rotten kid - I’m sure my very own “fruit-o-the-loins” will treat me about the same when my hair is gone and I can’t play tennis anymore and the highlight of my day will be gumming down luke-warm porridge . . .

And where is this HUGE snow storm we are supposed to be in right now?

I really expected (sarcasm) to wake up this morning and draw the drapes back to see nothing but a wall of snow on the other side while listening to my poor roof groaning under the strain of fifty tonnes of snow.

But what do I find?

Absolutely nothing.

Media - can’t shoot em, but you CAN ignore them. Please do.

In fact, if everybody just ignored them they would probably go away due to no ratings. Now wouldn’t that be a breath of sane air.

Well I’m off to check Twitter and see how many more people have ignored me. I actually think, even though they follow, they are truly afraid of me. Me, harmless (slightly twisted) little ole me.

So, keep your nose and sidewalks clean, and I’ll spew forth another geyser of excitement soon, like say . . .

Until tomorrow . . .

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