Saturday, December 29, 2007

mid-break meh

Well here I am more than half way through my ‘break’ from the slave pits and it is going way too fast.

Today is perogie day - yum. It got postponed because of a visit by family, which included a 1 and 2 year old . . .

. . . yes the house is still being repaired and the ornaments on the lower half of the tree are missing - likely inside two small bellies or lodged in places I will discover when I least expect to - like sitting on the couch or looking in the fridge.

As with all holidays, it seems, I have about ten minutes to type this up and then it is off to mash potatoes and grate cheese, then downtown to mail some stuff, do some last minute grocery shopping, etc, etc.

I thought ‘breaks’ were for, you know, having a ‘break’.

Next year I am saving about four weeks of my vacation so I can loaf about for a month instead of a week and a half - which, I know, is no reason to gripe since a lot of working folk only get a day off here and there during this time.

Well, don’t want the taters to go to mush.

Happy “insert-what-you-like” to you!

I best get back to the hot stove.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

har har har

my pirate’s holiday solstice cheer . . .

Because, you know, I wouldn’t want to offend any sensitive person out there who happened to read this post - but now that I think about it - I probably just irritated the hell out of some pirates . . .

. . . can’t win I guess.

So let’s see,

- out with Santa’s knees (not with a two by four, more like no more sitting on them),

- out with Christmas trees named Douglas,

- out with presence (you should perform exorcism at least three times a week - it's good for you)

- out with wishing people nasty things like, (I wish you would go &^$% yourself, or I wish you would drop dead - or the absolute worst verbal offense EVER - I wish you a Merry Christmas.)

- out with all beliefs in Devine Beings (Christ was just some guy, Buddha was just some guy but fatter, Zeta Reticulans are aliens so not guys, that other guy was just some guy, and Guy is pronounced “gee” so is not some ‘guy’ but rather some ‘gee’ so is disqualified from this list.)

- out with Christmas cake (I think this one just plain speaks for itself - shudder)

. . . that about covers it, but I will self-flagellate for a while in case I offended anybody just to be safe. See, I am suffering for you . . . Oh no, that will likely lead to no good . . .

So, if you celebrate - or not - have a happy Har Har Har, even though now is just some non-significant time of year which happens to maybe, or maybe not, coincide with events that may, or may not, be called magic thighs . . . or something . . .

Oh, and I’m taking this month off writing to, um, not-celebrate or wish people anything . . .

What? Oh, that lit up thing just inside the house in front of the window is - er, it’s a school project about electrical safety and pretty lights . . .

Oh, and those colourful boxes and bags underneath, are, um, exercises in visual stimulation to help cortical corneal development for our, um, rats . . . yeah, that’s it . . .

Now, no more questions please, the stress of conforming to the lowest common denominator and appeasing the sensitivities of the entirety of humanities beliefs is taking its toll . .

Monday, December 10, 2007

novel and not novel concepts

With NaNoWriMo 2007 behind me, and the future of novels ahead of me, I find myself believing in the power of self again.

What does this mean exactly? Well, it means that if you really believe in something strongly enough you can and will ‘eventually’ make a difference and achieve the goals that you set your mind and body to doing - barring some major setback of course - like death. But, short of that end, it can, and will, be done.

If you need to spend money on “The Secret” instead of heeding my free advice here, then go ahead - its your coin. But you want to know the real secret? There isn’t one. Anyhow . . .

. . . It becomes increasingly obvious to me, as I continue on through life’s journey, that other human beings around us (well most anyhow) like to poo in your porridge as often and as grossly as possible. Why this is may be explained by issues of self - not ‘yourself’ but ‘themself.’ Let them foul their own nests, but keep your own clean by hanging a ‘do not want’ sign out front and ignoring these Naysayers.

But they can be pretty hard to ignore though - so in order to proceed with your master plan - any plan - you must understand the negative people around you and realize just how powerless they truly are to affect your goals. They like to feed our inner trolls, which exist in each of us, chewing on our dreams like rats in the walls. If you dreams are fragile those fueled critters can have a devastating effect. But if your dreams are made of adamantine, well those fed and ravaging rats are going to do nothing but dull their own teeth and eventually sit back and watch the show - what else are they going to be able to do?

So, plans to get my (yup, all about me again) second novel completed are well underway. Chapter one is already in the bag with Chapter two closing in behind it swiftly and all chapters are plotted (at a high level) and ready to be written.

I’m slowing the pace a bit since the pace from NaNoWriMo was a bit much with a full time job and family obligations. So, instead of 2000 words/day I’ve scaled back to 500 words/day. This should see my latest novel complete by March 2008.

That will make two novels written by next year which I will then rewrite, edit and flog.

To hell with outer Naysayers and inner rats - I’m going to get my stuff on the shelves (cyber or real) before I drop dead. And since I plan to live until I’m 90, and write one complete novel per year, you should be seeing a total of 47 novels to my name before the final curtain falls.

Yeah, go ahead and scoff, buy your troll food at the Naysayer's stall - but all you will get from me is a pointing hand (middle finger) showing you the sign . . .

And hey, it’s even Monday.