Thursday, February 02, 2006


Holy ole crap. The last three days of posts have read like a prelude to a suicide note.

Give me, and you, a frikin break! If this were to continue any longer I’d have to change this blog to “The Tortured Mind Emporium”.

So, enough with the self-pity and angst and bullshit. Time to do the time warp again and get out of the gutter and into the light . . .

And I know you must be dying to know why I fell into this quagmire? Okay, so you don’t care, but I’m going to “anal”ize the situation myself and see. You can read along if you like or go check out Google news.

I have two sorts of minds. One I call Mr. Anal. That’s the organizer, the one counting beans, setting the alarm clock and generally being anal about every little detail of my life. The other is Mr. Muse. He is the one goofing off, enjoying himself, playing games and writing twisted tales and stories.

Lately Mr. Anal has been taking Mr. Muse (the creative, friendly and twisted part of my personality) and shoving him into a cage. The cage constructed by Mr. Anal is air tight, devoid of all features and called the writing-for-cash cage. And Mr. Muse, usually a happy go lucky fellow has been getting upset, unable to express himself – like a bee inside a jar with no air holes.

Last night I realized this with the help of my lovely assistant (my beautiful wife of 17+ years). What has been going wrong is Mr. Muse doesn’t like to be cornered, ordered about or instructed on what he can or cannot do. He doesn’t get along too well with Mr. Anal as you can imagine. So when Mr. Anal begins to order Mr. Muse’s life, Mr. Muse gets sour. He just does. You see?

So, this morning, I’ve taken a metaphorical axe to the cage and broken Mr. Muse out. He is much happier now even though Mr. Anal is sulking a bit. Mr. Anal’s iron rule of Mr. Muse has ended. Well, tough shit Mr. Anal. You can keep your alarm clock duties, but leave Mr. Muse alone.

There, that is done.

And now that Mr. Muse is free to go about his play, more creative inspired writing is sure to follow. In fact (Mr. Anal likes facts so is okay with this) starting this weekend I’m going to get to work on a creative book (one of the three I’ve mentioned on Wednesday update day) that Mr. Muse can go crazy over. Mr. Muse is itching to begin after his stay in the cage.

I like to help Mr. Muse whenever I can which, I see now, means keeping both eyes on Mr. Anal to make sure he knows his place and doesn’t overstep his bounds.

And because Mr. Muse has been so much abused of late I’m treating him to one of his favorite activities – twice in one week.

Games. Huge board games with tons of playing pieces. Saturday Mr. Muse will enjoy Twilight Imperium 3 and then, three days later, War of The Ring.

I hope that, in some small part, will make up for the transgressions of Mr. Anal.

Now let’s hope I never get caught in a transporter accident, because I just couldn’t deal with those two loose and on their own. You just know Mr. Anal would find a huge-ass wrench right away and be sporting eyeliner.

Not a pretty sight.

Not a pretty sight at all.

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