Monday, December 19, 2005

against the horde

Well, if you are like me, you won’t be doing any last minute “Holiday” shopping this year. Can you actually see me gloating?

‘does a little victory dance’

I finished my Holiday shopping one week ago (hey, are those tomatoes green? They hurt.), so I will not have to face the mall hordes this week – and that is what I try to, and this year succeeded in, doing.

But for many (hordes) that is not the case. My ultimate suggestion, if you are stuck as one of the horde, is to go in fast, immediately hit a checkout line (have some portable tunes with you, because you know the credit card of the person in front of you isn’t going to work, and the new girl on the cash won’t have a clue, and the person who is going to help her is in aisle 17 looking for the kung-fu grip cabbage patch doll, etc . . .) and buy gift cards.

So much less painful than battling ( the hordes) down the congested, festering, (I like the word festering – okay it doesn’t really apply here. But if you stay in your winter coat in that overheated mall too long - you just might start to fester . . .) aisles looking for that last minute “something” only to find they are all gone.

That’s about it for my ultimate Holiday (battling the hordes) shopping advice. The other tidbit is – do it in the summer when the weather is nice and the malls are not busy. That is if you are looking for that “something”.

Oh, and you can also get booze. Because most of the hordes, after battling amongst themselves, will need plenty to drink over the Holidays to unwind.

Good luck.

And hockey equipment might help some – but it’s hot and prone to (you guessed it) festering.

‘does another victory dance’

Owww! Hey, that was an egg. Hard boiled!

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